- Bluto: My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.
- Otter: Better listen to him, Flounder, he's in pre-med.
I made the changes and sent it over to their HR person while telling her how much I would appreciate it if she made the original “disappear” before the interview.
I just ruined my morning by noticing a typo in a cover letter I sent out several weeks ago for a position I’m being interviewed for later day. The entire interview team is going to read through that letter before/while interviewing me. Worse yet, it was a “their” instead of a “there,” which is the dumbest, most awful mistake I could’ve possibly made, especially because I’m a grammar fanatic when it comes to stupid-ass mistakes like that.
We knew he was sick (and by we, I mean a very small portion of the family that I just happen to be in), but no one, not even his doctors thought he was about to kick the bucket.
Duane D. Edwards Phd.
(February 2, 1936 - April 26, 2010)
Edwards PhD, Dr. Duane D. of Rutherford passed away on April 26, 2010.
Born in Stanford, Wisconsin he lived most of his life in Rutherford, New Jersey.
He served in the US Army and honorably discharged in 1964.
He was Professor of English, Fairleigh Dickerson University for 38 years, and was also a published author with his book “The Rainbow” during his off time he enjoyed being involved in many Community activities.
Duane is survived by his beloved wife Carol (nee Schmitt), his loving children, Leah Edwards and her husband Anthony, Deidre Bauernschmidt and her husband Kenneth. He was devoted to his precious grandchildren Derek and Sophia.
Duane leaves his siblings Chet Edwards, Shirley Kurtzweil, Bette Wooster, Ron Edwards, Diane Cherek and the late Yvonne Fintak.
Friends are invited to attend the funeral service Friday 10:00am in the Collins Calhoun Funeral Home 19 Lincoln Ave. Rutherford followed by Interment in George Washington Mem. Park Cemetery Paramus.
Visiting Wed. 7-9pm and Thur. 2-4 & 7-9pm.
I’m assembling a list. Not necessarily dates/times, but rather locations, activities, etc. Here’s what I have thus far:
- Skydiving w/ Altidude
- Sailing w/ Altidude
Meet at The Great Dane in Madtown
- Donate Blood w/ TheNeilShow
Meet in a blizzard at Transfer Pizzeria
- Attend a Rocky Horror Picture Show midnight performance at The Oriental
- Take potshots at each other at Paintball Dave’s
- Tailgate a Brewers Game
- Group orgy w/ SmutandEggs
- Meetup @ an off-leash dog park featuring the “Dogs of Tumblr”
But the day I compromise my writing to placate people who never fully made me feel like family will be the day I die.
And I’m not dying for any of you assholes.
Only my immediate family and one aunt knows my Tumblr page exists, which for the most part they’re not usually the butt of any posts here. Any family members are fair game in my court, though. If you’re my right-wing tea party half-brother of mine who admits he’d disown his daughters if either of them ever came out to him, you can go fuck yourself. The crazy uncle who answers the door nude, takes on as little responsibility as he can in life, and robs his adult children blind, he can go fuck himself too.
I don’t care if anyone is family, they don’t get my respect by association; it still has to be earned.
Some day should I get married, the only people invited to the wedding will be the people I (and by I, I mean ‘we’) like. I feel no obligation to invite anyone else.
This is not a good month for trying to plan attendance to a funeral on the east coast into my schedule.
- Mom(via email): Uncle Duane died suddenly this morning of an apparent heart attack.
- Me(via SMS to Kari): Which one was Duane?
- Kari(via SMS): He was the eccentric one with the Ph.D. in English who obsessed about zip codes.
- Me: Oh. That's sad. I sort of liked him.
Universal healthcare is a lot like how fire departments are setup. Citizens pay taxes so that other, extremely qualified people, can protect people who are unable to protect themselves. Much like how law enforcement and the military are setup.
If universal healthcare’s unfair, why not just get rid of fire departments? While we’re at it, we can get rid of police departments, our military, poison control, the CDC, and all of those other groups who are funded by taxes for the sake of protecting citizens from themselves.
I’m not even joking. It makes more sense to have universal healthcare than it does to have fire departments. People have effectively no control over whether or not they get cancer, but almost all fires are completely preventable aside from lightning strikes in dry forests. With healthcare, it at least makes sense because people are often stuck with the conditions they’ve been handed, but with fires there’s almost always someone to blame who should be liable for all fire fighting and emergency services expenses related to a given incident.
I genuinely dare someone who is against universal healthcare to come up with a good argument for why I’m wrong, because I’d really like to know if one exists. Understanding the given logic, I want someone to tell me why this statement is absurd, “To wish healthcare to be privately funded is to wish all emergency services also be privately funded solely by the people who use them and every expense is to be covered solely by party directly responsible for it.”
Just as the magic show ended, they fired off confetti cannons equipped with 40’ streamers into the audience. The moment I saw that I took a second to embrace being paid by the hour.
I watched in awe as the streamers flew across the auditorium and then in dismay as some twenty of them ceased to fall into the crowd. The streamers got caught on the acoustical clouds hanging from the ceiling of the theatre. I had to suit up in our fall arrest harness, climb up to our lighting catwalk, and precariously straddle the beams used to support the roof. There’s a six foot lanyard between me and a 40’ fall into our seating area. Better yet, the entire time I’m reaching for the streamers with a 15’ pole, which amongst other things, made the entire process extremely awkward, and while not the single most painful thing I’ve ever done, those harnesses do weird things to a sweaty guy’s crotch.
The alternative to all of that would have been dropping a few hundred dollars on a boom lift rental to clean everything up.